Gwen's Den

Monday, November 27, 2006

I Fixed It !!!

Hey Gwen,

Okay my sweet, I've fixed up the music, and added a play list of 5 songs, naturally of your choice !!!
The order of play didnt come over as selected, but hey, I tried !!!!

Now your music is playing, and hopefully you can hear it after we did a little fine tuning of your NEW wizz bang computer ... don't you just love puters ... great when working .. but a right pain when they stop !!!

Anyway my friend, glad I could help ... now please take note:

*** Next Blog Class will be held on the weekend following christmas .. 31st December, and as this is also New Years Eve, dont forget to bring your grog .. and OHHHH a special treat for the teacher always goes down well .. extra "brownie points" .. NO apples please .. but LOVE chocolate .. ROFLMAO.

Talk soon,

Hugs & kisses


Monday, November 20, 2006


Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,"Things aren't always what they seem.
"The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die.
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.
"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.
""Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of deathcame for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem."Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should.
If you have faith, you just need to trust that every out come is always to your advantage.
You just might not know it until some time later...
Some people come into our lives and quickly go..
Some people become friends and stay awhile.... leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts... and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present! I think this is and savor every moment... This is not a dress rehearsal!



"JEN MY MATE" Some times in life, you find a special friend.
Some one who changes your life just by being part of it.
Some one who makes you laugh until you can't stop;
Some one who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.
Some one who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

Saturday, November 18, 2006


We started off with good intentions, never wanted to drink too much but we did anyway.

Never wanted to spend too much, we managed to do that alright"BOY"that wasn't easy.

But all that considering we done very well, and had a ball then again we always do together.

Just when we thought it was safe to stay home, my daughter Janine phoned asking can we deliver her car.

Well you guessed it, back to Melbourne we go but this one would be a lot easier we thought Ha!!.

And this probably would have been the case, if a certain person(who will remain nameless)
didn't leave her mobile in a fish shop on the other side of town.


Thursday, November 09, 2006


He said . . .. I don't k now why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear pants don't you?
He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows
me everywhere" Written just below it . " I do not"

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the
A. He buys two cases of beer .
Q. What is the difference between men and government
A. The bonds mature.
Q.. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A.. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?" G od says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says , "why did you make her so
dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."


One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife,pinched her on the butt and said,"If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose."
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said,"You know, if you firmed these up,we could get rid of your bra"This was beyond a silent responce.So she rolled over and grabbed him by his 'DANGLER'.With a death grip in place, she said,"You know,if you firmed this up,we couldget rid of the Gardener,the Postman, the Pool-man and your Brother."



An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and,upon returning to her car

found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her hand gun,proceeding

to sceam at the top of her voice,"I have a gun,and I know how to use it!

Get out of the car..!!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation.They got out and ran like mad.

The lady some what shaken,then proceededto load her bags into the back of

the car and got into the driver's

She was so shaken that she could not get the key into the ignition.

She tried and tried,and then it dawned on her why.

A few minutes later,she found her own carparked four or five spaces farther down

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station.

The sergeant to whom she toldthe story couldn't stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter,where four pale men were reporting

a car jacking by a mad ,elderly woman described as white,less than five feet

tall,glasses,curly white hair,and carrying a large hand gun.




Friday, November 03, 2006



For years'and years they told me"Be careful of your breasts Don't ever squeeze
or bruise them And give them monthly tests."

So I heeded all their warnings and protected them by law.....
Guarded them very carefully And always a bra I wore.

After 30 years of careful care the doctor found a lump
He ordered a mammogram to look inside that clump.

"Stand very close,"she said as she got my tit in line
"And tell me when it hurts,"she said"Ah yes!There!That's just fine."

She stepped upon a pedal...I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing boob was in a vice!!!

My skin was stretched'n streched from way up by my chin
And my poor tit was being squashed to Swedish pancake thin!!!

Excruciating pain I felt within its vice-like grip
A prisoner in this vicious thing my poor defenceless tit!

"Take a deep breath,"she said to me who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine I can't breathe and woozy I am getting.

"There that was good,"I heard her say as the room was slowly swaying
"Now lets's get the other one."Lord,have mercy,I was praying.

It squeezed me from the up and down It squeezed me from both sides
I'll bet she's never had this done to her tender hide!

If I had no problem when I came in I surely have one now....
If there had been a cyst in there it would have popped ***ka pow.

This machine was made by a man of this I have no doubt....
I'd like to get his balls in there for months he'd go without!!!!