Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Tickle Me Elmo
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys, the toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stood Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager burst into laughter,after several minutes of hysterics he pulled himself together and approached Lena.
"I'm sorry," he said to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
The agent asked, "What's your name? the guy said, "My name is Penis Van Lesbian."
you are going to have to change your name."
I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you
will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian!
I'm telling you, you will HAVE to change your name or I will not be able to represent you."
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said
and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his
office inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000.
the letter enclosed...
an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name.
I had to change my name.