Gwen's Den

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

"SOMETHING TO BE RETURNED"





"SOMETHING TO RETURN"

Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard time
A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work.

The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks,"Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,"PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES,PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"and doing so draws an even bigger crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?" In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"


The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!




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"SWEET REVENGE"




To my darling husband,Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the ute when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately, not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don'tworry too much about me.

I was coming home from K-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the ute fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.

You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife, XXX

P.S. Your girlfriend called

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16 Comments:

  • Hey Gwen,

    I laughed at the "Pinch My Nipples" might try that one, when at the Telstra shop next (thats another story in itself).

    Love
    Cazz
    xxooxx

    By Blogger Cazz, at February 14, 2007 11:52 pm  

  • Cute joke Gwen!
    :)

    By Blogger Susie, at February 15, 2007 3:24 am  

  • Let me know when Cazz tries that attention getter. I want to be there.
    ..
    Happy Valentines Day!
    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    By Blogger Jim, at February 15, 2007 7:41 am  

  • Where do you find them! lol Loved them both! Next time I return something to WalMart now, you realize I won't be able to keep a straight face! lol Happy Valentine's Day dear Gwen! Hugs xox

    By Blogger PEA, at February 15, 2007 10:31 am  

  • Hi Gwen ~~ What a great day you had at the Strawberry place, all except Jan's fall afterwards. The jokes are good too. Thanks for your visit,ad I am glad you enjoyed my jokes etc. Hope you and your husband had a Happy Valentine's Day. Look forward to seeing you. Take care, Love, Merle.

    By Blogger Merle, at February 15, 2007 5:37 pm  

  • OH,., TOTALLY caught off guard by "Your girlfriend called." Whoo hooo hooo

    By Blogger Pamela, at February 15, 2007 6:29 pm  

  • Hi Mate
    I think We better stay out of KMart. next time were there together we Might start laughing.
    Liked sweet revenge! didnt see the Girl friend comming. Take care see you soon (((HUGS)))Janxxxx

    By Blogger Jeanette, at February 15, 2007 10:40 pm  

  • I have had Telstra shop experience as well, yes I can see that would work well. Very funny jokes Gwen as usual.Thanks for visiting
    Cheers Margaret

    By Blogger Margaret, at February 17, 2007 3:52 pm  

  • Hi Gwen,

    Two good jokes, and I think I may laugh the next time I'm at Wal-mart too!

    Janice~

    By Blogger Janice, at February 18, 2007 7:40 pm  

  • Hi Gwen, kewl jokes catch up with you on in 2 weeks.

    By Blogger LittleJen, at February 18, 2007 8:12 pm  

  • 2nd try to comment - blew me out last time, and I forgot to ctrl+c it first. grrr..

    never mind, what I said was:
    "just what you need when you take a tumble, somebody nearby with a camera!"
    :-)
    Della

    By Blogger DellaB, at February 19, 2007 9:22 pm  

  • that was better - I forgot to add, thanks for the funny jokes and the photos.

    By Blogger DellaB, at February 19, 2007 9:23 pm  

  • Ha ha - I liked the nipple one best, I will have to think of something to shout when I have to return something!

    By Blogger UKBob, at February 19, 2007 10:05 pm  

  • Hahahaha ... fun jokes, Gwen. Thanks for sharing.
    Take care, Meow

    By Blogger Meow, at February 21, 2007 10:17 am  

  • I hope you are alright and that blogger is treating you ok.
    ..

    By Blogger Jim, at February 27, 2007 9:51 am  

  • lol- both jokes had me laughing- l don't think l am so brave as to really do the first one though-lol
    Bests

    By Blogger HORIZON, at February 27, 2007 9:43 pm  

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