Gwen's Den

Sunday, December 17, 2006

"SANTA"

A Christmas Story

T'was the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.

He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.

I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!I've busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.

The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.

Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get betterThose assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pitsThey want the impossible--Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sledsAssembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the treesFalling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoymentI'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.


.There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season





THIS IS THE END FOR THE SEASON

SEE YOU ALL IN "2007"

16 Comments:

  • Happy Christmas, Gwen, either with or without Santa.

    All I can say to that Christmas Story is HO, HO, HO!

    Thanks also for the wedding Congrats. Gosh, 49 years for you. I hope you've enjoyed almost every minute.

    Alice

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 17, 2006 6:38 pm  

  • Have a wonderful, stupendous, Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year, dear Gwen.
    Take care, have lots of fun.
    All the best from Meow

    By Blogger Meow, at December 17, 2006 7:01 pm  

  • Oh Gwen...LOL!!! There's a Christmas poem I had never heard before! hehe Love it! Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas dear Gwen!! xoxo

    By Blogger PEA, at December 18, 2006 9:14 am  

  • Hi Mate
    had a good chuckle at this Christmas poem. Merry Xmas see u soon. Janxoxo

    By Blogger Jeanette, at December 18, 2006 9:39 pm  

  • Hi Gwen -- Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And a nice break!
    ..

    By Blogger Jim, at December 19, 2006 6:15 am  

  • I like that old-time music that plays when I read your blog.

    By Anonymous Rhea, at December 21, 2006 7:38 am  

  • Hi Gawen,

    Happy anniversary to you and your husband, I wish you all the best(especially since we share the same anniversary date).

    And about that hum zinger of a poem, leave it to you to put a Ho' in Christmas, LOL.

    Janice~

    By Blogger Janice, at December 21, 2006 7:10 pm  

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, come back i love yo'yo's and that stuff.

    "I believe, I believe, I believe".

    By Blogger LittleJen, at December 21, 2006 11:50 pm  

  • Have a great Christmas. Loved Santa pic.

    By Blogger RUTH, at December 22, 2006 5:27 am  

  • Hi Gwen that was great, poor sad Santa over worked and underpaid !!
    Cheers Margaret

    By Blogger Margaret, at December 22, 2006 9:25 pm  

  • Boy Santa really was in a bad fix. Even lost the clothes on his back. You character. Have a Merry Christmas.

    By Blogger The Ramblin Irishman, at December 23, 2006 5:12 am  

  • HO HO HO is right, thanks Gwen very funny - did you make that up?

    Love your take on housework too - now why didn't I think of those? I was prepared to think I'd just grown idle..

    Wishing you a peaceful happy and safe Christmas.
    :-)
    Della

    By Blogger DellaB, at December 24, 2006 3:32 pm  

  • Merry Christmas Gwen

    See you soon.

    By Blogger Gazza, at December 24, 2006 5:23 pm  

  • A fantastic spin on a (sometimes) tired classic.

    Hope your Christmas was fabulous and 2007 is all that you hope for.

    -Tanya.

    By Blogger Tanya, at December 29, 2006 4:22 pm  

  • Hi Gwen ~~ Thanks for your wishes, I had a wonderful week with Kathy and her family, but it is also great to be home again. Enjoy your break and see you in 2007. Good poem Gwen.
    I hope you have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. Take care, Love, Merle.

    By Blogger Merle, at December 30, 2006 2:52 am  

  • HAPPY NEW YEAR GWEN!
    :-)
    Della

    By Blogger DellaB, at January 01, 2007 3:07 pm  

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