Just Me Again

Hi All
Just thought I would pop in to tell you of a friend who came over for a cuppa[ that is tea or coffee] that was on sunday and she left monday, I was'nt sure what it was my bottomless cup or her hollow legs for the lenght taken to have that cuppa.
I wont mention any names i'll just point now you all know who it is....HA.HA.
Our lawn bowls season starts 7th september really looking forward to getting back on the greens
to catch up with my old mates and make some new ones.
Getting a little better at this blogging caper and enjoying it so as time goes on i hope get right
into it.

A LETTER FROM AN IRISH MOTHER

Dear Son

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive,I'm writing this slowly becauseI know you can't read fast.

You wont know the house when you get home....cos we've moved.

Your Father has a lovely new job with 700 men under him... he cuts grass at the cemetery.

There was a washing machine at the new housebut it's not working too good.

Last week I put in 12 shirts, pulled the chain,and I haven't seen the shirts since.

Your sister Colleen had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if its a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you're an uncle or an aunt. Your Uncle Mick drowned last week in a vat of whisky at the Dublin Distillery. His mates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely.

He was cremated and it took four days to put the fire out

I saw the doctor last week and your Father went with me.Doc put a glass tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for five minutes.Your Father wanted to buy it from him.

It only rained twice this week,first for four days and then for three days.

We had a letter from the undertaker.

He said if the final payment on your Grandmothers grave wasn't paid in seven days~~~ up she comes~~~

___ Your Loving Mother xx

P.S..I was going to send you 10 dollars but I'd already sealed the envelope.

AGEING GRACEFULLY

May your bum stay firm & pert

May your boobies not head south.

May your lippy[lipstick] never bleed

Into thin lines round your mouth.

May you eat a ton of chocolate

But never gain a pound.

May you always look your best

Whenever Brad Pitt comes around.

May you never wear big pants

Or grow unwanted hair.

And if all else fails

MAY YOU BE TOO SLOSHED TO CARE.